Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
