youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
