Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
