i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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