I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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