this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
