I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
