We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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