hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
