i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
