Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize