I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
