elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
