He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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