question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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