Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
