so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize