Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
