U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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