You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
