Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
