Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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