I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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