the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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