It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize