How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
