Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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