Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
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I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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