Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
