There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
