How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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