You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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