Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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