so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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