nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
