You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
