Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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