And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
