dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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