we have officially lost it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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