the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
