i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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