do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
