well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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