kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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