I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
