how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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