I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
