i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
