I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
