She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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