So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
