his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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