theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
