No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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