In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
