kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
