Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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