the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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