im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
