the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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