I faked an abortion last night.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
