dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
