Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize