I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
