All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
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What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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