First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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