Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
