In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
