I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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