found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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