also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize