And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
