I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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