i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
