I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i believe in u and ur pee
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
