somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Randomize