It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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